Thursday, April 22, 2010

Mother Earth: Today is Your Day!

Happy Earth Day!

Today serves as a reminder that our Earth is good to us, and we should be good to our planet.... She is, after all, "Mother Earth".

Sure, it's easy to abuse her without thinking... and she's slow to anger, but the signs are there.   You can only push a mother so far before she loses it... and some of us kids have noticed a change.  Her temples are throbbing and her face is turning red and she's got "that look"... you know the one. 

There are holes in her ozone, greenhouse gases are causing hot flashes, and we're melting her icebergs.... Mother Earth is getting angry.  I, for one, do not want to see her unleash all her fury.   And just like any mom, she will punish us ALL for what only a few do.  Not cool.   What are you thinking?  We should just run away from home?  Really?  Have you thought that through?  Where will we go?  It's not like we can ruin this world and move next door.  Have you been to the neighbors' places?

It' goes without saying that we can't live on the sun... We all need our rest and we'd never be able to sleep with all that light.

Admittedly, from Mercury's marketing pieces, you might thing it's the "Hottest Scene in the Solar System"...but not so!  And when the lights go out.... brrrr... the temps vary from nearly 300 degrees BELOW zero to about 800 degrees ABOVE zero.  NOT my cup of tea.

Talk about a "long day"! One day on Venus is 243 Earth Days; and thanks to the greenhouse effects of layers of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere the 'otherwise' cozy 150 degree weather, the surface is nearly 900 degrees!  Venus used to have water (or so they think)... but you can't even go swimming there anymore~all the water boiled away!

Mars is major borefest.... NASA assures us if there are martians they are ameobas or something... no fun there, and I hear they have even cancelled the live music festivals on the weekends because of the economy.  Scientists believe there IS a frozen sea on the planet... and it is thought that it was last liquid about 5 millions years ago.  How long can you freeze fish anyway?  That is not going to be good when it thaws.  Imagine the stench.

Jupiter's known as a "gas planet" ... That means not much of a solid surface, aka no place to sit down.  Oh, they think it probably has a solid core, but who knows because you can't get there. Ever wonder about those visual "bands" we see in the pictures of the planet?  Pretty, I know, but apparently caused by the winds.  You see the wind blows in adjacent bands, moving in opposite you'll be flying all over the place!  Each band is thought to be made of varying chemical compositions ~ thus the different colors.  I get the feeling this is one of those places that looks better from the outside.

Saturn's atmosphere is 25% helium.  Really?  How could we take anything seriously if everyone was talking in that "helium voice"; and can you imagine Gangster Rap sung in those kinds of voices?  On that planet, I suspect listening to sad country songs would actually make us laugh!  What would you do if you need a good cry?  I heard Saturn's rings are made of ice, so we could skate on them...which sounds awesome, but apparently there's no bus service back to town, and with the helium atmosphere I am not sure we'd ever get back on foot.  I don't want to get stuck on a thin layer of ice just floating in space!

Uranus... OK, let's be honest, I can NOT live in a place called Your-Anus. I can't.  I know I should be more adult than that, but well...I am not moving there, so go on without me.

Neptune is one place I do not think I could "weather".  There is a hurricane that has been raging for over 400 years... did you know that? Crazy stuff... it's known as the Great Red Spot.  And, the planet has the highest sustained wind speeds in the solar system, with recorded wind speeds of 1300mph.  With winds like that, even a whole spray can of "Aqua Net" can't keep your hair in place!

Pluto... Honestly, I was considering moving to Pluto, but it's been annexed or something... there's not a government in place anymore, it doesn't even stay in a proper orbit (sometimes moving close to the sun than Neptune, which is completely inappropriate) and it's been taken off the planet map entirely!  I hear the place is really going down hill.

So you see, we better enjoy what we've got and take care of her.  After all, it's pretty nice place.

This Earth Day, what can you pledge to do to help make Mother Earth Happy?    We're all in this together, and Mother Earth does love her children, so if we can each just do a little, I am sure she'll feel much happier.

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